The First
by SaxonBlue
Summary: A fanfiction devoted to Rei Ayanami.
1. Session One: Testing the Waters

**NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE FIRST **

Written by: SaxonBlue

The characters and events in _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ are created and copyrighted by Gainax, Project Eva and ADV Films (amongst others). These are used entirely without permission. Sorry.

_Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_ created and copyrighted by Nigel Read 1999-2008. This work may not be used or distributed without the prior permission of the author. In particular, the character of Dr Hiroshi Takamura remains the intellectual property of the author.

**Author's Comments**

This fanfic arose out of my obsession with a single character from _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ - the inscrutable Rei Ayanami. My friends snicker when I explain try to explain this obsession with a fictional girl almost exactly half my age. They don't understand. Wait ... I don't understand! Help!

At the time I commenced this story I had read, and enjoyed, quite a few NGE fanfics, but I was disappointed by the number of fanfics in which Rei was entirely OOC (out of character). In many, Rei began to freely express her emotions, and in some she went so far as to initiate sexual relations with Shinji. Few of these fanfics gave any reasonable explanation for this sudden transformation.

Not that Rei isn't capable of a transformation. In fact, the original series gives an inkling of this, particularly in her relationship with Shinji. But I firmly believe that if such a transformation were to take place it would be gradual, not sudden, and would have limits. And that is the basis for _Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_.

The format of the story is very simple. In fact, I'm surprised nobody thought of it before. I mean, it would seem only reasonable that after having put the children through the trauma of piloting the Evangelion units, that NERV would provide them with counselling ...

Enter Dr Hiroshi Takamura ...

**Session One: Testing the Waters**

1.

_Saturday, 26th September, 2015 - a few days after the defeat of the 5th Angel_

There was a single, gentle knock at the door.

His brown eyes narrowing, Dr Hiroshi Takamura looked up from the report he had been studying. At first he was tempted to ignore the unwanted interruption, but then he called out "Enter!"

The door slid open, revealing Rei Ayanami in her school uniform.

"Rei!" exclaimed the doctor, surprised. "What can I do for you?"

"It is time," replied the girl enigmatically.

"Time?"

"Yes. For our appointment."

Takamura glanced up at the wall-clock. It showed 10:00.

"If it is inconvenient I shall return at another time," said Rei.

"No, that's all right," said the doctor quickly. "I just hadn't realised how much time had passed. Come in. Take a seat."

Rei entered the room and sat as instructed, her pale hands crossed demurely in her lap.

Takamura took a small recording device out of a desk drawer and placed it on top of the desk. "Do you know why you're here?"

"Yes," replied Rei. "Captain Katsuragi ordered me to come here."

If not for the lack of expression on the girl's face, Takamura would have thought that Rei was teasing him. He turned on the recorder, searching for a way to rephrase the question. "Do you know what my job at NERV is?"

"Yes," replied Rei. "You are a psychologist."

"I am your psychologist, Rei," corrected Takamura, "and Shinji's too. But that's not what I meant. What is my task?"

"You are to assess the psychological impact of piloting the Evangelion units," answered Rei.

"That's right. But I'm also here to help you with any problems you may be having. You see, I'm not just a psychologist, I'm also your counsellor." Then on an impulse he added "Do you have any problems, Rei?"

Rei simply stared blankly at the doctor.

"No, I guess not," continued Takamura with a sigh. He studied the girl closely. With her pale skin, cobalt-blue hair and red eyes, she was physically so ... different. "Is that your natural hair colour?"

For once, Rei was momentarily nonplussed. "I do not understand."

"Well, it's such an unusual colour. Is it dyed, or is it natural?"

"Dyed?" queried Rei.

"A lot of women put dye in their hair to change its colour. Captain Katsuragi, for one."

Rei appeared confused, and for a moment Takamura felt that she was going to ask a question. Then her features returned to their normal impassive state. "My hair has always been this colour."

Takamura studied Rei a little more. "Does it bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"Does it bother you that you're so different?"

"It is not important."

"Well, you could be right," conceded Takamura. "But that doesn't really answer my question."

"My appearance does not bother me. Does it bother you?"

The question surprised Takamura. "No, it doesn't. Actually, I think it's quite ... interesting. What about your friends? What do they think of your appearance?"

"I do not know."

The doctor sighed, running one hand through his short, auburn hair. "Do you have many friends?"

"Dr Takamura, I do not understand the purpose of these questions."

Takamura looked at the girl closely, but could discern no sign of emotion. Nevertheless, Rei did seem to be evading his question. He fumbled in his desk drawer for a pad and pencil, and made a quick note. "Rei, are you a qualified psychologist?"

"No, Dr Takamura."

"Well, I am. So, just because you don't understand the purpose of my questions, that doesn't mean there isn't one."

"Yes, Dr Takamura."

"Now, do you have many friends?"

"No, Dr Takamura."

"Rei, don't do that," said Takamura through gritted teeth. "I'm not Captain Katsuragi. I'm not here to give you orders, so you don't need to end every answer with 'Dr Takamura'."

"Yes, sir."

"No, no, no!" exclaimed Takamura, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Don't call me 'sir'. That's even worse." He massaged his forehead with the thumb and index finger of his left hand. After a while he added "You could call me Hiroshi, you know."

"Yes, Hi-" Rei paused, unable to finish. Then, with sudden inspiration, she simply concluded "Yes, Takamura-san".

The doctor smiled at the use of the honourable title. "So be it. Takamura-san, it is. But don't wear it out." He paused, having lost track of the line of questioning. "Ah, yes. Friends. So you don't have many friends. That's okay, neither do I." He paused. "So, who are your friends?"

Rei turned her head and calmly studied a bookcase on the far side of the room.

After a brief while Takamura simply said "I see." He doodled absently on his notepad. "I had my first appointment with Shinji yesterday. He seems like a nice boy."

Takamura was taken aback when Rei's face flushed red. He quickly jotted down a note. "What's your impression of him?" he asked, quick to take advantage of this unexpected development.

"Pilot Ikari is ... very complex," said Rei, still staring at the bookcase.

Takamura frowned. He hadn't found Shinji to be at all complex. But the girl in front of him ... now that was a different matter. "Are you and Shinji friends?"

"I do not know. Before the last mission we quarrelled, and I struck him. But then, after the mission he was kind to me."

"Tell me what happened then."

"When he opened the hatch of the entry-plug, he cried," she said, her voice so soft the doctor could hardly even hear the words. "He seemed ... he seemed concerned for my welfare." She paused, her gaze dropping to her lap. "I did not know what to do."

"You were embarrassed?"

"No. I did not know what to do. I told him so, and he said that I should smile."

"Did you smile?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It seemed to be ... required."

"What were you feeling at that moment?"

"I cannot say. I was very confused."

"Why were you confused?"

"I was having difficulty interpreting his behaviour. He kept on crying. And he said things I did not fully understand."

"Such as?"

"He instructed me not to say certain things."

"What things?"

"He instructed me not to say goodbye before a mission, and not to say I had nothing else."

"Nothing else?"

"Before the mission Pilot Ikari asked me why I piloted the Evangelions."

"And the reason you gave was that you had nothing else."

"It was one of the reasons I gave."

"Why do you think those comments upset him?"

"I do not know."

"Perhaps, in light of your actions during the mission, he may have thought you did not expect to survive the mission." He paused, waiting for a response from Rei.

An icy silence descended on the room. And, with sudden insight, Takamura realised that he had made an error in judgement in raising this issue, and that he urgently needed to change the subject. He made a quick note, then continued. "Earlier, I think you said that you'd had an argument with Shinji. What was that about?"

Rei turned to face him, her eyes flashing dangerously. "He had insulted Commander Ikari."

"And that angered you?"

"Yes. He was disrespectful."

"Maybe Shinji does not feel that his father has done anything to earn his respect," Takamura commented.

"Nevertheless, Commander Ikari is his father," said Rei firmly.

Takamura leaned forwarded, his interest piqued by this reply. "But when Shinji was young, his father abandoned him."

"Commander Ikari has said otherwise ... that he did not abandon him ... that Pilot Ikari ran away."

"Do you believe that?"

Rei considered for a moment, then said "Yes".

"You believe the Commander over Shinji."

Rei just nodded.

"So, why do you think Shinji might have run away?" asked Takamura.

"I do not know." Rei paused. "Perhaps ..." She paused again.

"Perhaps what?"

"Perhaps Commander Ikari was inattentive."

At that moment the recorder stopped. "Excuse me," said Takamura, as he replaced the cartridge. He started the recorder again, and leaned back in his chair. He crossed his hands in front of his mouth in a perfect imitation, had he known it, of Commander Ikari. "All right. Let us suppose that Shinji was not abandoned, that he ran away instead. And let us suppose that he did so because, after the death of his mother, his father did not pay sufficient attention to him. Okay, here's a hypothetical. If you had been in Shinji's place, would you have done the same?"

Rei pondered the question for a moment, then said "No".

"And why is that?"

"It would not have served any purpose," said Rei confidently. "It did not serve any purpose. Nothing was changed by running away. A problem can only be resolved by confronting it."

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing," muttered the doctor to himself.

"Takamura-san?" queried Rei.

"Oh, nothing." Takamura fidgeted with his pencil, momentarily at a loss as to how to proceed. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

Rei stared at the doctor blankly.

"Nothing, eh?" continued Takamura. "Oh well." He looked up at the wall clock. "There's still eight minutes left." He looked at Rei again. "Do you have any hobbies?"

Once again, Rei looked back blankly.

"You know, recreational activities," added Takamura.

Rei thought for a moment. "I swim."

"That's good!" exclaimed Takamura. "A hobby. Great. Now, why do you swim?"

"It is physical activity. It keeps me fit."

"And there's no other reason?"

Rei looked puzzled.

"I mean," continued Takamura, "there's plenty of other ways to keep fit. Running. The gym. So why swimming in particular."

"I ..." hesitated Rei. "The water ... is ... soothing."

"In what way?"

"It is comfortable ... no, familiar," said the girl, struggling to express herself.

"Calming?" suggested Takamura, jotting down a note.

Rei though for a moment, then nodded.

"Personally, I like to fence," said the doctor.

Rei looked at the doctor blankly.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" asked Takamura, smiling.

"No, Takamura-san."

"I fight with fencing swords, sabres mostly," explained Takamura.

Rei looked confused.

"You wish to ask me something?" asked Takamura.

"Yes, Takamura-san," replied Rei. "It is not clear ... who do you fight?"

"There's a group of us who meet every Sunday morning," explained Takamura. "We kit up ... fight a bit ... and then afterwards we have lunch together and chat."

Rei looked taken aback by this. "Why would you fight if ... if you did not have to?"

"Well," replied Takamura carefully. "We don't fight to hurt each other. Rather the opposite - we're very safety-conscious. We just do it for fun."

"I see."

"No you don't," contradicted Takamura. He paused briefly. "You should join us tomorrow. You might enjoy it."

"Yes, Takamura-san."

"That wasn't an order, you know."

"No, Takamura-san."

"No, no!" exclaimed Takamura. "You're doing it again!"

"I apologise, Taka-" Rei stopped suddenly.

"That's better," said Takamura, smiling. He looked up at the clock again. "Time's up. Shall I pick you up at 8.30 tomorrow, then?"

"Yes, Ta-" Again, Rei stopped mid-sentence.

"Good," said Takamura. "Goodbye, Rei."

"Goodbye." She stood and walked to the door.

"Rei," called Takamura as she slid open the door. "That would have been an appropriate time to use my name."

"Yes, Takamura-san," she replied, before closing the door behind her.

The doctor threw up his hands in frustration.

2.

Five minutes later there was another knock at the door. Before Takamura could respond, the door slid open and Dr Ritsuko Akagi entered, a clipboard tucked under her arm.

"Good morning, Dr Takamura," she said pleasantly, taking a seat. "So, how did your first session with Rei go?"

"Well," replied Takamura cryptically. He studied Ritsuko cautiously. "She is very interesting ... from a psychologist's perspective, that is."

"Of course," said Ritsuko with a sly smile. "So, did you come to any conclusions."

"Not really," admitted Takamura. He paused briefly. "Well, perhaps one."

"And what was that?"

"That her existing psychological evaluation is a pile of horse-shit."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"Not really."

"I see."

A brittle silence descended on the room.

"Look, Dr Akagi," said Takamura patiently, "you'll get an interim report in due course. Until then, I'd appreciate it if you didn't bug me."

"Fine. When can I expect this report."

"Well, certainly not after only one session."

"Then when?"

"I really can't say. As soon as I've got something definite to say."

"And when will that be?"

"Goodbye, Dr Akagi," said Takamura firmly, rising from his seat.

Ritsuko stared balefully at Takamura for a moment, then rose and left the room.

"I wonder when she had her last psych evaluation," muttered Takamura to himself.

**More Author's Comments**

This first 'session' was extraordinarily difficult to write. Dr Takamura's job is to listen to Rei, but Rei is the type of person who does not usually speak until spoken to, and even then does so briefly and concisely. For a psychologist, Rei might be an interesting subject, but she's also damn hard work. And it was damn hard work to write.

Potentially, this series could be virtually endless - there is certainly enough material. Nevertheless, it will have to have a conclusion, although I haven't yet decided what that will be. As to plans for a similar series on the other children - well, I don't think so ... okay, maybe I might do one on Asuka.

I would appreciate your comments on this story (short of hate mail, that is). And look out for _Session Two: Cut and Thrust_.


	2. Session Two: Cut and Thrust

**NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE FIRST **

Written by: SaxonBlue

The characters and events in _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ are created and copyrighted by Gainax, Project Eva and ADV Films (amongst others). These are used entirely without permission. Sorry.

_Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_ created and copyrighted by Nigel Read 1999-2008. This work may not be used or distributed without the prior permission of the author. In particular, the characters of Dr Hiroshi Takamura and Shohei Imaishi remain the intellectual property of the author.

**Author's Comments**

I have to confess that, when I first started this fanfic, the temptation to substantially rewrite the original storyline from _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ was very strong. Like so many others, I had been bitterly disappointed by the last half-dozen episodes of the series. They were too rushed, and the final two episodes were virtually incomprehensible. Too many questions were left unanswered. Too many sub-plots were left unresolved.

So, when after completing _The First: Session One_ I still had no idea how my own series was going to end, a rewrite of the original storyline still seemed to be on the cards. Whilst writing _The First: Session Two_, though, I began to perceive an ending to the fanfic which would be suitably dramatic, but would not entail altering the original storyline of the series. After some deliberation, I concluded that this would be a more satisfactory way to proceed.

Of course, I can't tell you what that ending will be. That would be telling ...

So, instead, here's _The First: Session Two_ ...

**Session Two: Cut and Thrust**

1.

_Sunday, 27th September, 2015_

He had to admit it, he hadn't expected her to be so damned fast.

Takamura tried another combination of shots, but Rei just leaned backwards and calmly parried them all, as she had been doing for most of the morning. Except for the metallic clanking of their foils, the gymnasium was silent - all the other pairs had stopped to watch this match.

Takamura attempted to bat Rei's sword away a little more forcefully, but she simply slid inside his guard and parried his follow-up thrust easily. There was an audible intake of breath from their audience, and Takamura hurriedly shuffled back and took up a guard position. Beneath his face-guard, his cheeks were burning a deep red. Rei had just been in a position to end the fight; only her lack of aggression had saved him from a humiliating defeat.

The doctor took a deep, calming breath. Despite the lapse of concentration, he was still certain he would win the fight. Fencing was a sport in which experience counted for much more than raw talent. He moved in for another flurry of attacks, taking care this time not to leave himself so open. Then suddenly he stepped backwards, but instead of resuming a guard position he let his foil dip towards the floor. Rei followed him, her own sword dipping slightly to cover his. Takamura simply swayed forward and pinned her on the chest.

There was the briefest moment of silence, then applause filled the gymnasium.

The two combatants took off their face-guards and bowed.

"That was a fine fight, Rei," conceded the doctor. "You're a fast learner."

"Thank you, Takamura-san," replied Rei impassively.

Takamura turned and headed for the showers.

2.

Takamura splashed water over his face, washing away the sweat.

"That was a good kill."

The doctor looked up into the face of Shohei Imaishi, one of his younger students. "It was a cheap shot ... a trick." His face flushed angrily.

"Well, most of our kills are," replied Imaishi. After a while he added, "You've used the same shot on me quite a few times."

"Not on your first day, I didn't," replied Takamura bitterly.

Imaishi pondered that for a moment. "Actually, I think you did."

There was a brief pause, then both of them burst out laughing.

"She was pretty good, wasn't she?" said Imaishi. "What did you say her name was?"

"Rei. Rei Ayanami. She's ... the daughter ... of a friend." The lie came awkwardly.

"Not a patient?"

"Yes, she's also a patient."

Silence.

"She's very pretty," said Imaishi slyly.

"Don't even think of it!" replied Takamura sharply.

"Yessir!" shouted Imaishi, grinning.

Takamura grabbed the young man by the arm. "Do NOT touch her. Do I make myself clear?"

Imaishi blinked, looking surprised. "Is that a threat?"

The doctor let go of Imaishi with a sigh. "Shohei-kun ... I've no real family in Japan. You are the closest thing I have to family here - you're like a son to me. So, I say this out of genuine concern for your well-being ... you must have nothing to do with Rei."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you. You must simply trust me."

Imaishi paused for a moment. "I will do as you say. I promise." He headed towards the exit. At the last moment he stopped. "You're like a father to me, too, Takamura-sama." Then he was gone.

3.

_Saturday, 2nd October, 2015_

There was a single, gentle knock on the door.

Takamura glanced up at the clock. It showed 10:00; time for his appointment with Rei. He made a quick note then filed away the report he had been reading, a psychological analysis of another of the Evangelion pilots, currently stationed in Germany. He then went over to the door and slid it open. Rei, once again dressed in her school uniform, stood patiently in the corridor.

"You can come in now, Rei," invited Takamura.

The girl entered the office obediently and took a seat.

"Did you enjoy yourself on Sunday?" asked the doctor as he walked back to his desk.

"It was instructive. I have received little training in hand-to-hand combat."

"That wasn't what I asked," commented Takamura, looking at the young girl oddly. "Never mind. I don't suppose it's important." After a brief pause he added, "By the way, one of my other students expressed an interest in you."

Rei, obviously disinterested in this information, began to scan the bookshelf.

"I see," said Takamura, chuckling to himself. "Poor Shohei. He'll be distraught." The doctor was about to turn on the audio recorder when he realised that Rei was staring at one of half a dozen framed photographs on the bookshelf. He went over to the bookshelf, picked up the photograph, and handed it to the girl.

Rei stared at the photograph. "That is you," she said, pointing at one of the figures in the photograph.

"Yes," replied the doctor, impressed by her perceptiveness. "This photograph was taken while I was at college ... it would have been about sixteen years ago." His eyes took on a faraway look.

Rei continued to stare at the photograph. "Who is she?" she asked after a while, pointing at another of the figures in the photograph.

Takamura started, obvious surprise showing on his features. "Don't you know who she is?"

Rei simply shook her head. "She seems familiar, but ..." She paused hesitantly.

"You must have seen photographs of her before," said the doctor incredulously.

"I do not believe so."

Takamura frowned. "Surely he has ..." He stopped suddenly. "Her name is ... was ... Yui Ikari."

"Pilot Ikari's mother," stated Rei simply.

The doctor raised an eyebrow at that, and wrote down a lengthy note. After a while he looked up. Rei was still looking at the photograph.

"I could arrange to make a copy for you," he offered.

"That will not be necessary," said Rei, placing the photograph down on the desk.

Takamura picked up the picture and gazed at it. He was suddenly struck by something he had not noticed before.

"You and she were friends," stated Rei suddenly, but without any particular emphasis.

"Yes," said the doctor, interrupted in his musings. "We were friends."

"Did you know Commander Ikari then?"

"Only by reputation," replied Takamura, smiling wryly. "But I did know Professor Fuyutski. Yui and I were in one of his classes. It was he, and not Commander Ikari, who invited me to work for NERV." He placed the photograph back on the bookshelf, and sighed. "We should get started. The commanders don't pay me to reminisce about my past." He switched on the audio recorder, and sat down. He paused briefly, indecisively. "How long have you been an Evangelion pilot, Rei?"

"I do not recall the exact date."

"Roughly, then."

Rei hesitated. "Two months."

Takamura looked at Rei in confusion, then quickly scanned a document lying on his desk. "I think we're talking at cross-purposes. Your service record suggests that you've been with NERV for over two years. Let's see ... two years, three months, fifteen days, to be precise."

"That is correct," said the girl. "But I did not pilot an Evangelion until two months ago, when the activation tests for Unit Zero commenced."

"Ahh," said Takamura, momentarily at a loss. "Thank you for clarifying that." He cleared his throat. "Let's talk about the activation tests, then. Before the first test, were you scared?"

"No."

Takamura remained silent for a moment, as if waiting for Rei to say more. "Okay. Well, not scared, then. Apprehensive?"

"I was not apprehensive."

"Its okay to admit it, you know," said Takamura reassuringly. "It would be only normal for someone your age to be afraid of piloting an Evangelion." He paused briefly, waiting for Rei to comment. "All right, so you weren't scared. Why was that, do you think?"

"I was prepared. And I had faith in Commander Ikari's work."

"Faith in others is a good thing," agreed Takamura cautiously. "I'm told there was a problem in the last of the activation tests. What happened exactly?"

Rei shifted nervously in her chair. "I do not remember," she responded evasively.

"You don't remember any of it?"

"I remember some things," amended Rei, "but not Unit Zero going out of control."

"Interesting," commented the doctor, jotting down a quick note. "So what do you remember?"

"I was in the entry plug. Synchronisation was proceeding as it had in the previous tests. We were approaching the absolute border-line ..." Rei hesitated, unsure.

"What happened next?" prompted Takamura.

"My memory ... fails me. My next memory is of the entry plug being jolted. Then I felt nauseous, as if the entry plug was falling. A few seconds later the entry plug was jolted again. After a while the hatch was opened by Commander Ikari. He asked me if I was all right, but I was too weak and disoriented to reply."

Takamura leaned back in his chair and studied his patient. "Your medical records indicate you were badly injured during the incident."

Rei blinked. "You have access to my medical records?"

Takamura was momentarily taken aback. "Of course I do. Is there any reason why I shouldn't have access to them?"

"Of course not, Takamura-san," replied Rei, but she still looked surprised.

"Fine, fine," continued Takamura, unsure whether to pursue the matter, then deciding against it. "So, you were badly injured during the last of the activation tests. How did this affect you during the recent re-activation test?"

"It did not affect me," replied Rei matter-of-factly. "I was completely healed of my injuries by then."

Takamura chuckled, unable to tell whether Rei was really that literal, or whether she was teasing him. "Actually, I'm more interesting in how the accident effected your confidence in the tests."

"I do not believe it had any effect."

"I see." Takamura scratched the back of his scalp, momentarily at a loss. It was going to be a long, long session. He glanced across at the bookshelf for a moment, then pressed on ...

4.

_A few hours later._

Sub-Commander Fuyutski pushed his food around on his plate, unable to eat. He was deeply disturbed by the growing rift between Gendo and Seele, and was contemplating what action needed to be taken. It was enough to put anyone off their food.

A shadow fell across the bench, and he looked up from his meal.

"Konnichiwa, Hiroshi," he said in greeting, and rising.

"Konnichiwa, Fuyutski-sensei," replied Takamura, bowing.

"Oh nonsense," Fuyutski admonished playfully. "I'm not your professor any more. Have a seat. We haven't talked since you arrived at NERV. Have you settled in all right?"

"I have, thank you, sir." Takamura sat down across the table from Fuyutski.

"And your work ... you're finding it sufficiently challenging?"

"To say the least," replied Takamura, smiling. "Although ..." He hesitated.

"Although what?" prompted Fuyutski.

"Well, its Rei," continued Takamura. "I'm having some difficulty with her."

"What kind of difficulty?"

"She is unresponsive," replied Takamura. "Her answers lack ... substance."

"What would you like me to do? Shall I get Gendo to talk to her?"

"No, no," interjected Takamura hastily, "I don't think that would do. No, it wouldn't do at all." He paused briefly to collect his thoughts. "I don't really think there's an awful lot you can do for me. Rei has built many walls ... strong walls ... around her. It may take some time to help her."

"Help her?" queried Fuyutski. "Then you think there's a problem with Rei."

"Without a doubt," replied Takamura. "She exhibits obvious symptoms of severe clinical depression, or possibly even a form of schizophrenia. And she clearly feels isolated from those around her."

"Isolated?"

"She feels no connection to us," explained Takamura patiently. "It is why she shows so little interest in social interaction. Only Commander Ikari and ..." He hesitated.

"And what?"

"Well, I don't suppose it'll do any harm," conceded Takamura. "Shinji."

"What about Shinji?"

"She feels a connection to him. Because ..." Takamura paused. "Well, I haven't quite figured that out yet. Perhaps its because they're both Eva pilots." He sounded unconvinced.

"So what are you suggesting?" Fuyutski asked. "That she no longer pilot the Evas?"

"Of course not," replied Takamura coolly. "It is imperative that she continue. Even I understand that. And also, when it comes down to it, I'm not entirely certain that the Evas are even the source of her problems." He paused briefly. "Did you know her parents?"

For a brief moment alarm ran across Fuyutski's face. Then he smiled, and shrugged. "Her parents? No I didn't know them." He rose from the table, abandoning his lunch. "Well, it seems to me that, despite your reservations, you do seem to be making some progress. I look forward to seeing your report. Well, I must get back to the grindstone. Good day, Hiroshi. I've very much enjoyed meeting you again."

"Good day, Fuyutski-sensei."

Takamura watched his former professor head towards the exit of the refectory.

"Well, that was odd," he said under his breath, then pulled up the commander's uneaten lunch and tucked into it with gusto.

**More Author's Comments**

At last, _Session Two_ is complete. I believe I commented in _Session One_ about how difficult I found that 'session' to write. Well, its sequel was even more difficult, requiring three entire re-writes. Oh well, its here now, and I suppose that's all that matters. Although I must confess I'm more nervous about releasing _Session Two_ than I was about its predecessor.

I would appreciate your comments on this story (short of hate mail, that is). And look out for _Session Three: From the Sidelines_.


	3. Session Three: From the Sidelines

**NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE FIRST **

Written by: SaxonBlue

The characters and events in _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ are created and copyrighted by Gainax, Project Eva and ADV Films (amongst others). These are used entirely without permission. Sorry.

_Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_ created and copyrighted by Nigel Read 1999-2008. This work may not be used or distributed without the prior permission of the author. In particular, the character of Dr Hiroshi Takamura remains the intellectual property of the author. Some of the dialogue in this instalment of _The First_ is taken directly from the original series; in no way does the author claim this dialogue as his original work.

**Session Three: From the Sidelines**

1.

_Thursday, 8th October, 2015_

"So, I owe you once again."

"You're not going to pay me back anyway, are you? Speaking of which, regarding the material that they demanded under the Freedom of Information Act, I handled it by giving them some falsified data. The government's proceeding with legal action, but that will be blocked any day now. So, should I do something about that project as well?"

"No. Judging by the material you've sent me, it appears there will be no need."

"Then I'll proceed with the plan."

"Very well. Was there anything else?"

"Yes. There have been some unexpected and unwelcome developments. I have spoken with Dr Takamura. In the course of our conversation, he suggested that an affection may be growing between the Shinji and Rei."

Pause. "I see. Of what nature?"

"The doctor wasn't too specific. But Rei could hardly -"

"No, that's not enough. We must take steps to ensure this doesn't go any further. Nothing must be allowed to interfere with our plans for those two."

"But surely ... I mean, if Rei develops feelings for your son ... well, perhaps it's only to be expected, under the circumstances."

"Nevertheless, it can't be permitted to go any further. This could disrupt everything."

"I'm not sure -"

"But I am." Pause. "Can I leave this matter in your hands?"

"If you think it's really necessary."

"I do. And make sure the good doctor doesn't talk to anyone else about this. If the Committee found out about this ..."

"I understand. I will speak to him."

"Good. Was there anything else?"

"Yes." Pause. "The doctor also asked me about Rei's parents."

Pause. "Need I remind you that Dr Takamura was employed here on your recommendation. As such, I consider him to be your responsibility."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Do you think he suspects anything?"

"No, I don't think so. Although ..."

"Hmm?"

"Well, he did know Yui quite well."

Pause. "I'm not happy with this development. If I have to involve NERV security ..."

"I'll handle it. I'll get security to create some falsified documents."

"Very good. Keep me informed."

2.

_Saturday, 10th October, 2015_

He only wished there was a window in his office.

Dr Takamura had tried desperately to make the room as comfortable as he could. The fluorescent ceiling light, its stark brilliance reminding him unpleasantly of laundries and hospital corridors, had been replaced by a small chandelier, and by the restful glow of a tall standard lamp. The rows of grey, metal filing cabinets had similarly been replaced by the wooden shelving on which the doctor kept his books and photos, bittersweet reminders of a youth that could be remembered, but not revisited. The teak and leather armchairs were old and comfortable, and the mahogany desk was like a dark, sleeping dinosaur.

It would almost have been pleasant, had there been a window.

The window in his office at the university had faced onto a shady lawn where the students had regularly gathered, and listening to the earnest flirtations and playful debates had provided some amusement to a tired and dusty academic. He had been so weary of dry lectures, self-important staff meetings, and lonely days and nights reading and marking his students' essays and projects ...

It had truly been another place and time ...

A gentle cough interrupted his reverie. "Takamura-san?"

The doctor turned away from the photo he had been contemplating. "I'm sorry, Rei. I was a million miles away." He sat on the edge of his desk and looked intently at the young girl. Once again she was dressed in her school uniform; Takamura wondered briefly whether she had any other clothes. He tried to picture her on the lawn at the university, perhaps laughing at a joke told to her by an admirer, but the image was ill-fitting.

"Rei," continued the doctor, "have you ever thought of what you'd like to do when this is all over?"

Rei pondered the question only briefly before replying. "No." As usual it had been said softly, without any emotion, even bitterness. But in the doctor's ears that single word nevertheless sounded an ominous note.

"You're intelligent and talented," persisted Takamura. "You could go to university ... perhaps even study psychology like I did. Not that it really matters what you do, so long as you use such talents as God has given you to their full potential ... as long as you pursue wholeheartedly the destiny your Maker has planned for you."

"My maker ..." started Rei, then hesitated. "I do not think ..." continued Rei after some time, her voice so soft that Takamura had to strain to hear it. "I do not think that my maker had much of a plan for me."

Takamura waited patiently, but Rei did not elaborate on her statement. "I'm not really very religious," said the doctor carefully, "but I think I believe in God." He hesitated, feeling his way uncertainly. "But what I said was meant metaphorically, not literally. We have only one life -"

"One life," interrupted Rei, an unexpected bitterness in her voice.

An expectant silence filled the office.

After a while Rei looked up at Takamura, her face a mask. "It will not be long before Unit Zero is repaired, and I will face the Angels again. And perhaps this time my existence will come to an end ..." This last was said resignedly, almost longingly.

"And perhaps," replied Takamura, frustrated, "I will walk out of NERV headquarters tonight, and be run down by a bus. It may happen, and yet it may not. I certainly do not intend to plan my life around that eventuality."

Rei stood and walked over to the bookcase, her back to the doctor. "It is unimportant."

"What is unimportant?" asked Takamura.

Rei glanced back at the doctor. "My life," she said simply.

Takamura stared at the girl, clearly taken aback her statement.

"My purpose is to fight the angels," continued Rei softly. "There is nothing else. I have resigned myself to this. You should -"

A strident alarm sounded, interrupting her.

The doctor nearly fell off his desk. "What the hell?"

"Another angel," explained Rei simply. She walked to the door and slid it open. "I have to go." Then she was gone.

Takamura frowned at the closed door for only the briefest of moments before turning off the audio recorder. He sighed wearily, and leaned back in his chair.

3.

_Fifteen minutes later._

In a corner of the command room, two holographic images hung in mid-air. The first image was of Shinji inside Unit One's entry plug. The second image read: "Captain Misato Katsuragi. Audio only." Maya and Shigeru had their heads together, quietly discussing the data on their terminals.

Audio (Shinji): "We've caught up with it."

Audio (Misato): "We've get less than four minutes. Put me on now." Pause. "Don't think about it, do it!"

Next to the holographic images, Rei Ayanami stared impassively at the image of Shinji. Clutched in her left hand was her Emergency Manual. Whatever thoughts were crossing her mind at the moment, no sign of them crossed her face.

Audio (Misato): "Ahhh!"

Audio (Shinji): "Misato!" Pause. "Be careful."

At the Commander's desk, Sub-Commander Fuyutski was talking quietly but insistently to someone on the phone. Suddenly the alarm stopped, and Fuyutski slammed the handset down. He glanced across the command room at Rei, seemingly noticing her presence for the first time.

Audio (Misato): "Talk about hot." Pause. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Rei, what are you doing here?" asked Fuyutski.

Rei turned to face the Sub-Commander. "There was an alarm," the girl replied matter-of-factly. She brought her Emergency Manual up to her face, and began to read from it. "In the case of an alarm, all Evangelion pilots and their support personnel should make their way to the command room and await further orders."

"I know what the Emergency Manual says, Rei," said Fuyutski curtly.

Audio (Shinji): "Stop running you bastard!" Pause. "Misato, hurry up!"

Rei stared at Fuyutski.

Fuyutski stared at Rei.

Rei stared at Fuyutski.

Audio (Misato): "I've found it."

Fuyutski coughed nervously. "It's all right, Rei," he said finally. "Shinji and Captain Katsuragi seem to have things under control. And besides, repairs to Unit Zero haven't been completed yet."

Audio (Misato): "Error! What the hell!" Pause. "The program must have been altered. It must have." Pause. "I guess I'll try the long shot."

Fuyutski glanced at the holographic images. "What's happening, Maya?"

Maya looked up nervously at the Sub-Commander. "I'm not sure, sir."

Audio (Shinji): "Misato, get out of there!"

"Get me a line to Mr Hyuga," ordered Fuyutski.

"Yes sir," replied Maya crisply. After a dozen seconds of rapid keystrokes, a third holographic image sprang to life. It read: "Makoto Hyuga. Audio only."

"I am ..." said Rei to herself.

"Mr Hyuga," said Fuyutski. "This is Sub-Commander Fuyutski. Can you hear me?"

Audio (Hyuga): "Yes sir."

Audio (Shinji): "Misato!"

"Mr Hyuga," said Fuyutski. "What is Captain Katsuragi doing?"

Audio (Hyuga): "It seems that the Captain was unable to delete Jet Alone's program. I ... I think she's trying to shift the control rods herself."

Audio (Shinji): "Misato!"

"I want you to pull her out, Mr Hyuga," ordered Fuyutski.

Audio (Hyuga): "Sir, it's too late. Jet Alone is going to go critical any second now. She just wouldn't get out in time. Hold on a moment, sir, I'm receiving a transmission." Pause. "She's done it, sir! Jet Alone has been shut down. I can't believe it she did it!"

Fuyutski sighed in obvious relief. "Gendo," he said quietly, ambiguously.

Audio (Shinji): "Misato, are you all right? Misato!"

Audio (Misato): "Yeah, I'm okay. Not in the greatest of shape, however."

Audio (Shinji): "You're alive. Oh god. Are you all right? Oh thank god, I can't believe you did it. It's a miracle."

Audio (Misato): "Yeah."

"... not required," completed Rei quietly. Then, realising what has happened, Rei broke out of her reverie. Her face unreadable, she glanced briefly at the image of Shinji, and then at the Sub-Commander.

Then, unnoticed by anyone, she slipped out of the control room.

4.

_Another fifteen minutes later._

A cup of tea in hand, Takamura opened the door of his office and entered.

He stopped, momentarily startled by the shock of cobalt-blue hair peeking up over the top of one of the armchairs in front of his desk, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Hello, Rei," he said warmly.

Rei stood respectfully and bowed. "Takamura-san."

"What are you doing here?" asked the doctor. "Isn't there an alert?"

"I wasn't required," replied Rei dismissively. "It was not an angel." She looked away suddenly.

"Oh," said Takamura, momentarily nonplussed.

"The time allocated for our session has not yet expired," added Rei, staring at the bookcase.

"Ah," continued Takamura inarticulately. "Well, I don't suppose there's any reason why we can't continue the session, if that's what you want." He looked closely at Rei, who continued to avoid eye contact with him. "Are you all right?" He waited for a reply, but none was forthcoming. "Does it bother you, then?"

"Bother me?" echoed Rei, turning back to Takamura.

"That you weren't required," continued the doctor.

Rei blinked. "It does not matter," she explained. "Only defeating the angels matters. I do not desire to be praised."

Takamura stared at Rei. "Unlike Shinji, who must seek the approval and praise of his father?" He smiled, and waved his hand dismissively. "No, don't answer that. I think I know you better than that. Still, there is something wrong, isn't there? Perhaps ... perhaps you'd got used to being the centre of attention, and now you're looking on from the sidelines and Shinji is the centre of attention. Is that it?"

Rei looked genuinely surprised by the doctor's suggestion. "You are in error, Takamura-san."

"Tell me, then," prompted Takamura.

"I ..." Rei hesitated, searching for the words. "I am not ... where I should be."

"Next to Shinji?" suggested Takamura.

Rei nodded. "During the battle with the Fifth Angel I protected Pilot Ikari from harm. It felt ... right." She stopped, seemingly unable to express herself clearer.

Takamura nodded. "And with Unit Zero still damaged, you are unable now to protect Shinji." Suddenly, as if making a decision, the doctor made his way to his desk. He noticed for the first time an manilla envelope on the desk. It was marked: "Dr Takamura. Confidential."

He opened the envelope and fished out the contents - a half-dozen documents. After scanning each of the documents in turn, he slid them back into the envelope. He weighed the envelope in his right hand. "Idiots," he muttered darkly to himself, then dropped the entire envelope in the wastepaper bin.

"Takamura-san?" questioned Rei.

"Oh, it's nothing," replied Takamura warmly. "Please, sit down." He fished the audio recorder out of a desk drawer and switched it on. "Now, what were we talking about. Ah yes, your feelings of protectiveness towards Shinji ..."

**Author's Comments**

I'd like to apologise to fans of _The First_ for the massive delay (almost an entire year) in releasing this instalment. Considering the small size of the instalments (around 2500 words each) this is, of course, entirely inexcusable.

Although I didn't realise it at the time, when I first started to write _The First_ back in February 1999 it was a largely cathartic exercise. I had become unhealthily obsessed with _Neon Genesis Evangelion_, particularly with the character of Rei, and with what I perceived to be an unsatisfactory ending to the series. By the time I released the second instalment in September of that year, though, I had completely exhausted this obsession. And, although I started writing the third instalment almost immediately, it was only about one-third complete by Christmas, and I decided to abandon the story.

So why did I decide to resume writing _The First_? Pride. Pride demanded that I not leave a story half-complete. Oh, and vanity too ... I just love getting fan-mail. What author doesn't?

I would appreciate your comments on this story (short of hate mail, that is). And look out for _Session Four: Enter the Dragon_. Guess who:-)

Hopefully, it won't take another year to write!


	4. Session Four: Enter the Dragon

**NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE FIRST **

Written by: SaxonBlue

The characters and events in _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ are created and copyrighted by Gainax, Project Eva and ADV Films (amongst others). These are used entirely without permission. Sorry.

_Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_ created and copyrighted by Nigel Read 1999-2008. This work may not be used or distributed without the prior permission of the author. In particular, the character of Dr Hiroshi Takamura remains the intellectual property of the author. One of the scenes in this instalment of _The First_ is taken directly from the original series; in no way does the author claim this as his original work.

**Session Four: Enter the Dragon**

1.

_Wednesday, 28th October, 2015_

Rei Ayanami, First Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit Zero, stared out the classroom window. Both her elbows rested on her desk, and her chin was propped up in her palms. Her pale face showed little emotion except disinterest, and perhaps the slightest hint of boredom. She could hear the Sensei's lecture on pre-Impact history, but his voice seemed distant, as if many miles separated the Sensei from her.

She could sense this separation, this gulf between her and the rest of the world, as if it was a physical thing. But it was not physical; it was only knowledge ... knowledge and secrets. These were the things that separated her from everyone she knew, even from the other pilots.

"Have you seen the new girl?" said one of the male students.

"The redhead?" replied another. "Man, she's so hot! What I wouldn't give to be her boyfriend!"

Rei tried to ignore the boys' whispers, but despite the fact that they were keeping their voices low, their words continued to intrude annoyingly into Rei's consciousness.

"Oh man, yes!"

"I've heard she's another Eva pilot," interjected a third student.

"That's so cool!"

"I wonder if she's got a boyfriend already. Maybe I should ask her to go with me to the pictures."

"No way! She'd never go with a dork with you!"

"Oh yeah!"

"That's enough!" yelled Hikari from the front of the classroom. "Shut up and pay attention to the Sensei!"

Blanching, the boys went silent ...

... but only for a little while.

"I wonder if she and Shinji are an item."

"What?"

"Man, you've got to be kidding."

"I heard when they fought the last Angel, they were naked together in that Evangelion thing."

"No way!"

"Way to go, Shinji!"

Shinji blushed furiously, and desperately tried to slide under his desk.

"Don't make me come back there!" yelled Hikari.

The boys went silent again.

Rei's features darkened, but she kept looking out the window.

2.

_An hour later._

Rei frowned as a shadow fell across her text-book. She shifted her book a little, to move it back into the light, but the shadow followed it.

"Hello!" said a sing-song voice.

Rei glanced sideways at the speaker, not especially pleased by this interruption. Even less pleasing, to Rei's mind, was the large crowd that had gathered to watch this meeting. Perhaps if she didn't make direct eye-contact, the new pilot would go away and leave her in peace.

"You must be Rei Ayanami, the pilot of the prototype," continued the red-haired speaker in the same sing-song. "I'm Asuka ... Asuka Langley Soryu. I'm the designated pilot of Unit Two. Let's be good friends."

"What for?" asked Rei, and continued to read her book.

"Because it would be ... convenient," replied Asuka. "You know what I mean?"

This didn't seem like much of a reason to Rei. She wished Asuka would just leave her alone. "If I am ordered to, I will do it."

"Ooh," said Asuka, slightly taken aback. "Freakazoid."

Rei ignored the insult. Eventually Asuka lost interest and wandered away, taking the crowd with her.

3.

_Saturday, 31st October 2015_

Dr Hiroshi Takamura puffed noisily as he jogged down the dreary, hospital-white corridors of NERV headquarters. He had once again been cornered by Dr Akagi, and now he was late for his next appointment.

He passed a couple of NERV security officers in their daunting black uniforms. They turned and watched the doctor curiously. Finally, he reached the door of his office and slid it open. "Good morning, Rei," he said, not even bothering to look, knowing that she would be there.

Rei rose from the high-backed arm chair in front of the doctor's desk, and bowed. "Takamura-san."

"I'm sorry I'm late," said Takamura. He looked up at the wall-clock; it showed 10:18. "Dr Akagi wanted to talk about the new pilot with me, and it took a bit longer than anticipated. I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Takamura-san," said Rei. She hesitated briefly. "I do not wish to keep you from your work."

"Nonsense, Rei," said Takamura, waving his hand dismissively. He slid into his own chair, then opened a desk drawer and retrieved the audio recorder. "You are my work too." Realising how impersonal that sounded, he added, "You're my favourite patient, you know."

Rei sat down on the edge of her chair, her back very straight and her hands folded demurely in her lap.

Takamura patted the pockets of his jacket, then the pockets of his trousers. He opened another drawer of his desk, and drew out a pen and notepad. He opened the notepad and wrote down a brief note, then turned on the audio recorder.

"Well, Rei," continued the doctor. "Is there anything you'd like to discuss?"

"I do not have any preference," said Rei.

Takamura smiled. "Well then, I get to choose." He nibbled on the end of his pen for a few moments. "You've met Asuka, I take it. What did you think of her?"

"She is a skilled pilot," said Rei blandly.

"Is that what you've observed of her?" asked Takamura. "Or is that just what others have told you?"

"It is what Commander Ikari has told me," said Rei. "I have not observed her piloting, but her synchronisation ratio is higher than mine or Pilot Ikari's."

"Well, I'm sure it is," said the doctor, "but I'm not really interested in her piloting skill or synchronisation ratio. I'm interested in your impression of her as a person."

For once Rei seemed nonplussed. "I do not know. I -" She faltered, and her eyes dropped to her lap. "I do not think I like her. She thinks only of herself."

"From what I've heard," said Takamura, making a note, "she offered to be friends."

"I do not desire her friendship," said Rei.

Takamura raised his eyebrows at that, and made another note. "I wonder. Have you thought that perhaps you might be jealous of her?"

Rei's lips pursed, but no other sign of emotion showed on her face.

"In the beginning there was only you," continued the doctor, "and that suited you just fine, I think. Everyone fussed over you, especially the Commander. Then along came Shinji and stole some of the limelight, but he's too nice a boy to remain angry at for long. Asuka, I think, was just the straw that broke the camel's back. You feel abandoned, and Asuka isn't as nice a person as Shinji, and so you've decided to dislike her."

"You are mistaken," said Rei quietly.

Takamura shrugged, unfazed. "It wouldn't be the first time. So, why don't you tell me what it is?"

"She pilots her Eva for selfish reasons," said Rei simply.

"I shouldn't have thought it was important why she pilots," said Takamura, "as long as she does it well."

"It matters," said Rei firmly.

"Why does it matter?" asked the doctor.

Rei thought on the question for a few seconds before replying. "It matters. The Evas are not robots. They are an extension of the pilot."

"I don't follow you," said Takamura.

Once again Rei did not respond for a few seconds. "For the moment, Pilot Soryu's synchronisation ratio is high, because her desire to pilot is strong. If her reasons for piloting her Eva are selfish, though ... if she pilots only so that she may be praised, then there may come a time when that desire may waver. If that happens, she will no longer be able to pilot her Eva."

Takamura nodded. "I think I understand. What you are saying is that piloting an Eva comes from the heart, and that if the heart falters so does the Eva."

"Yes, Takamura-san," said Rei, looking a little surprised.

The doctor smiled, and made a note. "But what of Shinji? By all accounts, he pilots his Eva in the hope of receiving his father's approval. Isn't that the same?"

"No," said Rei, emphatically shaking her head. "You are mistaken."

"Am I?" asked Takamura.

Rei looked away, and her gaze fell on the bookshelf. "Commander Ikari was also concerned that Pilot Ikari might only be piloting his Eva to gain his approval. I think that is why Commander Ikari has not shown affection towards Pilot Ikari ... he did not wish their bond to interfere with Pilot Ikari's bond with his Eva."

Takamura's eyebrows raised alarmingly, and he made another note. "That's a very interesting theory, Rei, but do you really think that the bond between a father and a son can be so easily broken? I'm not so certain. The bond may change, perhaps, but not disappear entirely. And if it's not a bond of love, then it may become a bond of anger, that most fleeting of all the emotions. Isn't that worse, then, than Asuka piloting out of a desire for praise?"

Rei shook her head. "No, Takamura-san."

"Why is that?" asked the doctor.

"In battle," started Rei cautiously, "anger can be an asset."

"Have you -" The doctor was interrupted by the audio recorder stopping. He quickly replaced the cassette. "Have you ever been angry whilst piloting Unit Zero?"

"No," said Rei simply. "It is not in my nature. But Pilot Ikari's anger makes him a better Eva pilot than I."

"Do you think Shinji pilots out of anger at the treatment he has received at his father's hands?" asked Takamura.

Rei paused, as if only just sensing a well-laid trap, then nodded. "Maybe. But I believe Pilot Ikari also pilots his Eva because his conscience demands it."

"I see," said Takamura. He looked closely at Rei. "Do you think Shinji may pilot because of you? To try and protect you?"

"I do not know," said Rei. She spoke quietly, unemotionally, but her eyes dropped nervously to her lap.

Takamura smiled. "Yes, I think he might. Does that idea bother you, then?"

Rei glanced up at the clock, then stood up. "It is time."

Takamura looked up at the clock; it showed 10:40. "Rei, wait."

"I cannot. Dr Akagi has scheduled tests for me in five minutes. Good day, Takamura-san." Rei bowed respectfully, then quickly left the office.

Cursing under his breath, Takamura tossed his notepad at the clock. It connected, and the clock fell noisily to the ground. He cursed again, and this time it was not under his breath.

4.

_A couple of hours later._

A manilla folder tucked under his left arm, Takamura knocked twice on the door in front of him.

"Come in."

Dr Takamura slid open the door, and entered. The office was very comfortable, and had a window that overlooked the Geo-Front.

"Hiroshi," said Sub-Commander Fuyutski warmly. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thankyou Kouzou," replied Takamura. "And yourself?"

"Not getting too much sleep since the incident with the Sixth Angel," replied Fuyutski. "Apart from that, I don't suppose I can complain. What can a do for you, Hiroshi?"

Takamura flourished the manilla folder. "Interim reports on Rei and Shinji."

Fuyutski raised an eyebrow. "Dr Akagi was beginning to think you were never going to report your findings. She's been pressuring the Commander into having NERV security raid your office. Of course, I advised the Commander that such drastic measures weren't necessary." He pointed at a green tray filled to capacity with reports and memos. "Leave them there."

Takamura dropped the folder into the tray, and turned to leave.

"Wait a moment, Hiroshi," said Fuyutski hesitantly. "I've a question. You mentioned a little while back about some sort of bond developing between Shinji and Rei.?"

"Did I?" asked Takamura. "I don't remember."

"You did," said Fuyutski firmly. "I just wanted to know whether there were any signs that this was developing into anything stronger."

"Not especially," said Takamura. "I wouldn't have thought it would be such a bad thing, though, if it did."

"Maybe," said Fuyutski cautiously. "Still, I wonder if, when Unit Zero is repaired, we shouldn't hold Rei back for a little while, and let Shinji and Asuka handle things."

"You object to the bond Shinji and Rei have?" asked Takamura.

"Not in itself," said Fuyutski, "but the Commander is concerned that it may unnecessarily complicate things, that it may distract them in battle."

"Well, you may be right," said Takamura, but he looked unconvinced. "I think Rei may be getting a bit restless, though ... well, as restless as Rei is capable of getting, anyway. I shouldn't keep her out of Unit Zero for too long."

"Your objections are noted," said Fuyutski.

"By which you mean," said Takamura, "that you intend to ignore them altogether." He raised a hand to stop the Sub-Commander's objections. "I know. You probably have your own reasons." He gestured towards the pile of reports and memos. "I'll leave you to your work then. Good day, Kouzou."

"Good day, Hiroshi," responded Fuyutski, turning his attention to the memo in front of him.

After Takamura had left the office, a side door opened and Commander Ikari entered.

"Well?" asked Fuyutski, looking up. "What do you think?"

"Was it necessary to tell him of our intention to separate Rei and my son?" asked Gendo, frowning.

"I'm sorry," said Fuyutski, grinning. "It just slipped out."

Gendo looked at the Sub-Commander oddly. "Slipped out? Is that really what happened?"

"So, do we still proceed?" asked Fuyutski, ignoring the Commander's questions.

Gendo smiled grimly. "We proceed."

**Author's Comments**

Well, at least this instalment didn't take a full year to write like _Session Three_!

I imagine that, given the title of this instalment, many readers might have thought that I was about to engage in some gratuitous Asuka-bashing. Believe me, such a thing couldn't have been further from my mind. I have the same feelings of sympathy towards Asuka as I do towards the other Eva pilots. Rei is my favourite, of course, but I don't dislike the other pilots.

Nevertheless, it was necessary to write this instalment from the perspective of my central character, Rei, and it was obvious from the start that those two actively disliked each other. Rei hid her feelings a bit better than Asuka, perhaps, but the animosity was still there. If (and this is a really big 'if') I ever wrote a similar series with Asuka as the central character, then I would certainly present the alternative viewpoint.

I would appreciate your comments on this story (short of hate mail, that is). And look out for _Session Five: Past and Present_. Coming to a cinema near you:-)


	5. Session Five: Past and Present

**NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: THE FIRST **

Written by: SaxonBlue

The characters and events in _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ are created and copyrighted by Gainax, Project Eva and ADV Films (amongst others). These are used entirely without permission. Sorry.

_Neon Genesis Evangelion: The First_ created and copyrighted by Nigel Read 2001-2008. This work may not be used or distributed without the prior permission of the author. In particular, the characters of Dr Hiroshi Takamura and Fuuka Soseki remain the intellectual property of the author.

**Session Five: Past and Present**

1.

_Tuesday, 17th November, 2015_

Dr Hiroshi Takamura sat on a bench and looked out over the bay, the sunlight glittering off the water's surface making him squint. Under the surface of the bay was buried the decaying ruins of a once great city. The tips of a few buildings thrust out of the water like gravestones.

"Do you come here often?"

Takamura turned to face the speaker. A man dressed in a dark blue NERV uniform slouched against what had once been a streetlight. His long, brown hair was tied into a pony-tail, and rough stubble covered his face. The edges of his mouth were lifted in the merest hint of a smile.

"As often as I can. It's very peaceful. No one else comes here." The doctor hesitated. "Do I know you?"

"Ryoji Kaji, at your service," said the stranger, with an elaborate bow. "And you, of course, are the famous Dr Hiroshi Takamura. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thankyou," replied Takamura, frowning. "But I didn't know I was famous."

"Amongst NERV security personnel, you're virtually a celebrity." Kaji chuckled, and sat on the bench. He leaned back lazily and gazed out across the bay. "It certainly is quiet, isn't it, with only the birds and the cicadas to keep you company."

"And the ghosts," added the doctor.

"I hadn't thought about that," said Kaji, chuckling. "Of course, you'd remember Tokyo-1 before the Second Impact."

Takamura nodded. "And you?"

"A little," replied Kaji, shrugging. "I was only a child when it happened."

Silence settled on the pair, broken only by the chirping of crickets and the lapping of water.

"So, to what do I owe this visit?" asked Takamura finally. "Is my presence required back at NERV?"

"No, I'm not here in my official capacity," replied Kaji. "We should go for a walk."

"Where to?" asked the doctor, suddenly suspicious.

Kaji shrugged. "Anywhere. Let's walk along the shore."

"Sure," said Takamura, rising.

They strolled in silence for a few minutes, heading out towards what remained of the Boso Peninsula. Seabirds dotted the shoreline.

Kaji turned, and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry about all this, but if we keep moving it'll make it harder for our conversation to be picked up by the parabolics."

Takamura's eyebrows raised. "That serious, eh?"

Kaji nodded. "I bring a warning. Your attempts to dig into the First Child's past have been noticed. Do not persist."

"Or you'll do what?" said the doctor, frowning.

"You misunderstand," said Kaji. "I'm not threatening you. In fact, I believe our interests may coincide in this matter. I, too, am a seeker of truths."

Takamura looked dubious. "I don't know what you mean. I'm no 'seeker of truths'."

"You are," contradicted Kaji, grinning. "You just don't know it yet. But there is a lot more at stake here than you realise. There are certain people that would not hesitate to kill you in order to keep the truth hidden."

"You realise how paranoid that sounds."

Kaji nodded. "There's an saying in the intelligence community, though – 'Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean the bastards aren't after you.' But I understand. You're a psychiatrist – "

"Psychologist," interrupted Takamura.

"Psychiatrist or psychologist, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that if you continue to think in those terms, then you will almost certainly be killed. There is more at stake here than you realise."

"Yes, the angels – "

"No!" Kaji glanced around, and when he spoke again it was almost a whisper. "More than the angels, though lord knows they're bad enough. Let's assume, for a moment, that the angels are defeated. What then? What will happen to the Evangelion units? What will happen to the pilots? Do you think the project will simply be mothballed?"

Takamura shrugged. "Sure. I guess, when you put it like that – inevitably there is going to be a bit of political maneuvring for possession of the Eva units. They are, after all, advanced weaponry."

"Yes, they are," said Kaji, thoughtfully. "I've begun to wonder, though, if they aren't more than – " Kaji stopped and turned to face the road.

Curious, Takamura stopped and turned to see what Kaji was looking at. The road was empty, though, and he couldn't see anything unusual. He was about to query Kaji, when he began to discern the sound of an engine in the distance. It seemed to be getting closer.

He turned back to Kaji. "What – " But Kaji was no longer there. He walked down to the waterline and scanned up and down the beach, but could find no sign of him.

Takamura turned back to the road. The sound of the engine was getting quite loud. Suddenly, a jeep came around a bend. It slowed down slightly as it passed the point where Takamura was standing. He got a clear look at the driver and the sole passenger, but recognised neither. They looked just like any young couple out for a drive. Perhaps they were trying to find somewhere to park and make out ... in the middle of the working week. What did a NERV intelligence agent look like out of uniform? Or an MP from the JSSDF?

As the jeep sped away, Takamura shook his head. "Now who's being paranoid?" he muttered to himself.

He listened to the cicadas whirring and the rush of the waves on the beach. After a while, he noticed a large white envelope lying on the rocks only a couple of paces away. He examined it closely, but it didn't seem bulky enough to contain anything dangerous. He carefully secreted the envelope underneath his jacket and, as casually and naturally as he could manage, strolled back towards his car.

Inside the car, he laid the envelope on the passenger seat and opened it. Inside were various photos of Gendo, Fuyutsuki-sensei, various personnel in GEHIRN uniforms, and a child that Takamura could only conclude was a very young Rei Ayanami, no more than six years old. With that hair and eye colour, it couldn't be anyone else. The photos were all dated from February to May 2010.

He leafed through the photos a second and third time. The fourth time, he finally realised why Kaji had left him the photos.

Then, with the car's cigarette lighter, he carefully destroyed every one of them.

2.

_Takamura glanced around at the gathered crowd. There were a few faces he recognised his days at the University of Tokyo – Fuyutsuki-sensei, Fujita, Seiichi, Soseki, Nakane and, naturally, Gendo Ikari. Fuyutsuki-sensei and Gendo stood off to one side, talking quietly but animatedly. Although he couldn't make out their words, Takamura had the impression they were arguing about something... _

"Takamura-san." 

Takamura dragged his gaze away from the photo. "I'm sorry, Rei. I'm getting old. It's funny, the older you get, the more you're haunted by your memories. But I'm being self-indulgent."

"I understand," said Rei.

Takamura raised an eyebrow and made a note in his notebook. "Really? What is it you understand?"

"The photo helps you to recall the memory of a signficant event in your life."

Takamura smiled and nodded. "Several significant events, in fact. Do you have something similar?"

Rei looked away. Takamura sensed an unexpected tension in the girl.

"It's all right," added Takamura. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Captain Katsuragi has said that I must endeavour to assist you in your appointed task," said Rei, the impassivity of her speech belying the tension in her body. "I possess a pair of Commander Ikari's glasses. They are the ones he was wearing when he rescued me during the failed activation test for Unit Zero. They were damaged by the heat from the entry plug, so he discarded them."

"Really?" said Takamura, making further notes. He wasn't sure what surprised him more – that Rei had kept something out of sentimentality, or that she was willingly telling him about it. "Why do you keep them?"

"I am not certain. Sometimes, when I look at them, I remember how I felt when Commander Ikari opened the hatch of the entry plug."

"And what was that?"

"Again, I am not certain. I felt..." Rei frowned. "I am sorry, Takamura-san. I am not certain. I only know that sometimes, when I look at Commander Ikari's glasses, I feel what I felt that day, when Commander Ikari opened the hatch of the entry plug."

Meaning, of course, that she had nothing to compare the emotion with. Takamura found the idea quite disconcerting, and a little saddening. He made yet another note. "Oh well. Perhaps _what_ you felt is not so important as admitting that you felt it. Is there anything else you'd like to add."

"There was another incident involving Commander Ikari's glasses. Pilot Ikari came to my lodgings to deliver a new NERV idenitification card. Whilst there he had an accident, and Commander Ikari's glasses were... disturbed. I was angry..."

Takamura could sense that, even in Rei's current comparatively expansive mood, there were still things being left unsaid. "Why were you angry?"

"I was not sure at the time. I have thought about it since, and I believe it is because Pilot Ikari disturbed something that was meant to be personal."

"Hmm." Takamura made more notes. "Do you still feel angry towards Shinji for what happened?"

"No. When I thought about it, I realised that the anger I had felt was irrational. No harm was intended by Pilot Ikari."

Takamura chuckled. "That's very magnanimous of you. Rei, I'm glad you feel you can talk to me about these things."

"It was difficult at first," admitted Rei. "I was uncertain what you expected of me. But I understand now. And Commander Fuyutsuki would not have employed you if you were not trustworthy."

"Is that so?" said Takamura. "Well, I'll take that as a compliment... I think. Ah well, we're just about out of time. You might as well head off."

Rei stood and bowed. "Thank you, Takamura-san."

3.

_Takamura glanced around at the gathered crowd. There were a few faces he recognised his days at the University of Tokyo – Kouzou Fuyutsuki-sensei, Takane Fujita, Seiichi Imagawa, Fuuka Soseki, Noe Nakane and, naturally, Gendo Ikari. Fuyutsuki-sensei and Gendo stood off to one side, talking quietly but animatedly. Although he couldn't make out their words, Takamura had the impression they were arguing about something._

_Fuuka stood near the table that bore Yui's urn. She wore a formal kimono. It struck Takamura as odd – he had never seen her in a kimono before. A young boy-child, seemingly about four years old, clung to the kimono. Takamura was puzzled. He hadn't heard that Fuuka had any children._

_He wandered over to her. "Soseki-san."_

_"Hiroshi-san," she replied._

_There were worlds of meaning in those words – grief, loneliness, regret – so much left unsaid. "Who is the young one?" he asked._

_"This is Shinji-kun."_

_He nodded. He and Yui had corresponded for many years, but he hadn't seen her in person for almost a decade, and thus he'd never met her and Gendo's son. He smiled reassuringly at the boy and said, "My name's Hiroshi Takamura. I knew your mother many years ago. I'm very sorry. You must miss your mother very much."_

_The boy retreated behind Fuuka._

_"Poor tyke," said Fuuka, ruefully. "I don't think he understands what has happened. And his father – " A look of anger crossed her face. " – his father doesn't talk to him. He's asked me to look after the boy for a while. I don't mind, of course, but a father ... " She stopped, lost for words._

_"Try not to be too hard on Gendo. I'm no fan of the man, but he loved Yui very much. Grief can – "_

_"Grief?" interrupted Fuuka. "Does he look grief-stricken to you?"_

_Takamura glanced across at Gendo. It was true, he didn't seem particularly grief-stricken. In fact, he hadn't so much as looked at his wife's urn, nor spoken to any of the guests except Fuyutski-sensei, the entire ceremony. "People grieve in different ways."_

_Fuuka shook her head. "It's like he doesn't believe she's dead."  
_  
Takamura stared at the photo on his bookshelf. It was the one that had captured Rei's attention in her second session with him. It was a photo from Takamura's university days. It was a photo, taken by Fuyutsuki-sensei, of himself, Seiichi, Fujita, Nakane, Soseki and Yui on the lawn outside one of the lecture theatres. None of them had even heard of Gendo Rokubungi, who was still finishing his final year of high school.

Takamura stared at the photo on his bookshelf. It brought back many memories.

_It's like he doesn't believe she's dead._

**Author's Comments**

Wow! _The First_ must be breaking records! By my calculations, I'm writing it at the rip-roaring pace of 3 or 4 words a day.

But seriously, prior to the release of this 'session', _The First_ had obviously been abandoned for some years. As I believe I mentioned in a previous 'session', writing this fanfic was largely a cathartic exercise... and a successful one, at that. Unfortunately, this meant that I no longer had any strong motivation to continue the fanfic. Thus, any 'sessions' that now get completed are largely due to the desire, which comes and goes, not to leave a series entirely unfinished. This isn't helped by the fact that I've moved on. I still watch anime and read manga, but I haven't watched an episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion in years. Lately, however, I've noticed the first couple of volumes of the manga of Neon Genesis Evangelion (published by the wonderful folk at Madman Entertainment) in my local bookstore. I may just give it a look...

I would appreciate any comments on this story (short of hate mail, that is). And look out for _Session Six: Three's a Crowd_. But don't hold your breath. :-)


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